


Just Look At All That Pain

by XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:32:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo/pseuds/XoSaveMeFromMyselfXo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Franks new band plays LA and the rest of the guys (including Franks ex Gerard) attend the show. *Inspired by Franks recent show*<br/>My version of what could have happened that night</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I step off the bus and inhale deeply, exhaling as I pull my sunglasses off the top of my head and down over my eyes. LA, I'm back here again. I take another deep breath before stepping away from the door, Evan following me out into the car park and as I turn to look at him I see the huge smile plastered across his face. "Excited for tonight dude?" He asks, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet and I shrug as I say "Yeah I guess." Evan frowns, clearly confused by my reply and I can understand why but the ball of nerves in my stomach makes it impossible to fake enthusiasm. Tonight we are playing LA, tonight I will see my ex band mates and brothers for the first time in over a year. Tonight I will see the man who broke me in ways I never imagined I could be broken before I met him. 

The rest of the morning passes far too quickly for my liking, unloading of the equipment and merch seeming to take no time at all yet when I look at my watch it's only twenty minutes until I agreed to meet Mikey and his new fiancé at a restaurant a few blocks from the venue for lunch. I tell the guys I will be back, slowly making my way out of the car park and down the street and ten minutes later I see the sign for the restaurant, Mikey and his fiancé standing beneath it and I can't help the smile that breaks out on my face as my pace quickens as Mikey steps towards me and we wrap our arms around each other in a crushing hug. "Hey man, it's been so long" Mikey starts as he pulls away and I nod as I say "Yeah, way too long. You look good man, how have you been?" "Great, almost twelve months sober and..." "What? That's incredible Mikes" I tell him as I pull him back in for another hug and when we pull apart his fiancé is beaming at him, looking like a proud mother. "Hey nice to meet you" I say as I offer my hand and she shakes it, her smile never dropping as she says "It's nice to meet you, I've heard so many stories I feel like I know you already." "Oh man" I groan out as I glance over at Mikey and he chuckles as he says "All good I swear. Frank this is Kristin, my fiancé." I turn my gaze back to her as I say "Yeah I heard, congratulations guys." "Thank you" she says, reach out to take Mikey's hand and Mikey smiles at her before saying "Well, how about we go in?" 

After we are seated at a table I glance around and notice there are four spare chairs at the table the waitress seated us at and as I open my mouth to ask why Mikey glances up and smiles over my shoulder and I turn to see what he's looking at as a familiar voice says "There he is." My head snaps the rest of the way around faster than I knew it could as my face breaks out into a huge smile at the sight of Ray but I feel my heart skip a beat as I see the last two people I want to see right now standing behind him. I feel the colour drain from my face as Ray steps towards me again and I force myself out of the chair to embrace him in a bone crushing hug, the smile returning to my face as we pull apart and I step over to hug Christa, Gerard stepping closer as we pull apart but I quickly turn and take my seat again, making it clear that there will be no happy reunion taking place between us. 

After we all take our seats the waitress comes back over to see if we want drinks and after she leaves with our order, giving us time to look over the menus Mikey catches my eye and raises one eyebrow at me questioningly, clearly wondering why I gave Gerard and Lindsey such a cold reception but he should know better than anyone, having been the one to find and save me when I was overdosing on whatever I could find after the breakup. Lunch passes slightly awkwardly, old tour stories being told amongst laughter but mine dies too quickly and anyone paying attention can tell I'm just not into it. "So Frank, how's tour going?" Gerard asks and I glance over at him, his eyes clearly pleading with me and I glance around at everyone else before focusing back on my plate as I say "It's fine, this stint is almost over so I'll be glad to go home again." 

The rest of lunch passes in what feels like hours, Lindsey and Gerard whispering to each other occasionally but finally I glance at my watch and see I need to be back for sound check and we all throw in money to pay the bill before leaving and once we're on the street I say goodbye and head back to the venue, knowing I will see the guys again very soon. Sound check passes uneventfully and I escape back to the bus, laying in my bunk with my eyes closed as I replay lunch in my head, cursing myself for allowing it to cross my mind, every touch and look that took place between Gerard and Lindsey while I pretended not to notice burned into my memory and I groan as I bring my hands up and press the heel of my palms into my eyes, trying to erase the vision I'm being tortured with. 

I manage to fall asleep only to be woken by Ed an hour later, him gently shaking me and telling me we're on in an hour and a half and that my friends are in the dressing room waiting for me. I groan as I drag myself out of the bunk, grabbing my stage clothes and changing as Ed leaves to go back into the venue before following him and as I walk down the hallway towards our dressing room my stomach curls into an uncomfortable knot. I stop just outside the door and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I reach out and push the door open, stepping in and I immediately glance around and breathe out a sigh of relief as I see neither Gerard or Lindsey are in the room. I take a spare seat beside Mikey, joining in on the group chatter taking place and twenty minutes before we are going on I stand and leave the room, going to the restroom just down the hallway, pre show nerves always making me have to pee. I take my time, washing my hands and staring at myself in the mirror above the basin and just as I turn to dry my hands the door opens and I turn my head to see my nightmare enter the room. We stare at each other in silence for a few long seconds before I bite down on my quivering bottom lip, the heartache feeling fresh all over again and I take a few steps across the room, brushing past him on my way to the door but as I reach out for the door handle his warm soft fingers wrap around my other wrist. "Frank" he breathes out softly and I can't choke back the low whine that escapes me as the first tear rolls down my cheek. "What? What do you want now?" I snap, my voice shaky as I turn my head to look back at him and his face drops into a mixture of hurt and guilt. "Frankie" he says softly and I yank my wrist out of his hold as I shake my head, sniffling back more tears as I open the door and step back into the hallway.

I make it three steps away from the door before it opens again and I quicken my pace before an arm snakes around my waist and I'm pulled back against a solid chest. "Don't walk away" he breathes into my ear and I pull myself out of his hold, turning to tell him to not touch me but before the first word can leave my mouth his lips are on mine, his hands cupping my face and his fingers gently tangling in my hair and for a split second all the fight leaves my body, my mind temporarily forgetting all the reasons why this is now a bad idea and just as my lips start to move against his I snap back to myself and I brace my hands against his chest and shove as hard as I can, Gerard's lips leaving mine as he stumbles back and falls to the floor. We both remain still for a few long seconds, Gerard staring into my eyes and as I see his mouth open again I turn and run the rest of the way back to the dressing room, letting myself in and I see Lindsey sitting beside Mikey where I was before. 

I take a deep shaky breath as I cross the room to my bag, kneeling down with my back to everyone as I rummage through it for my anxiety meds, feeling on the edge of a breakdown and just as I find them a warm hand touches my back and I turn to see Mikey kneeling beside me. "Are you ok?" He whispers and I stare into his eyes, unable to speak and he sighs softly as pity crosses his face and he softly says "I'm sorry, he insisted on coming when he found out you were playing here and...." "It's not your fault" I tell him, cutting his apology off and we both push ourselves off the floor, Mikey taking his seat again as I cross the room to grab a bottle of water and as I swallow down my pills the door opens and Gerard walks in, his eyes immediately locking with mine before dropping down to the pill bottle in my hand and he frowns as he takes a step towards me before he seems to remember where he is and he falters in his step as Lindsey stands up and walks over to him, leaning in and whispering in his ear before she takes his hand and they leave the room again. 

Five minutes later Ed comes into the room and tells us it's time to go side stage and we all make our way out to where we need to be, Evan, Rob and Matt staying with me while the rest of the guys go out to join the crowd for the show, taking Gerard and Lindsey with them and I feel like I can breathe again. Ten minutes later we make our way on stage, the roar of the crowd deafening and I fade into the background in my mind, acting on autopilot as we launch into the first song, thrashing around and getting into it, bantering with the crowd between songs and halfway through our set I allow myself to really glance around and take in the crowd and as I scan the balcony above I see the last thing I need in that moment, Gerard and Lindsey locked in a passionate looking kiss, her hands in his hair and his hands on her hips. I stand there stunned for a few seconds until I register that the guys have started playing the intro to the next song and I join in, singing half heartedly and I can't keep my eyes from wandering back up to where I know they are, Gerard looking down at me frowning and a few seconds later when I allow myself another glance I feel my stomach clench as I see Gerard with his head tilted back, his eyes closed as Lindsey sucks on his neck and I'm sure I can hear the breathy little groans I know he lets out when someone does that to him and I feel myself break all over again. 

"FUCK YOU" I scream into the microphone, stopping mid song as I rip my guitar off and throw it to the floor, running off stage to the protest of the crowd and I make it three steps off stage before I collapse to the floor, my whole body shaking with my sobs as I bawl my eyes out and I slump down to curl into a ball on the dirty backstage floor, a few techs and Ed rushing over to help me and I choke out a low whine as I push myself back up again and I run down the hallway to the exit and out into the car park, needing to escape.


	2. Chapter Two

I manage to make it to the bus before I break again, collapsing to the floor in the back lounge before I break down in sobs again and the world fades from around me until warm hands grip my arms and I am pulled from the floor, my mind vaguely registering Mikey and Ray standing beside me before I am sandwiched between their chests, my face burying in Rays neck as I continue to cry, wishing I could pull it together and stop but I don't seem to have any control over myself. I cry for what feels like hours, Mikey and Ray just holding me and letting me get it out before I manage to get myself under control again and I take a seat on the couch, Ray sitting beside me while Mikey disappears before coming back a few seconds later with a bottle of water which I take gratefully, gulping down almost half the bottle before pulling it away from my lips again. "Sorry" I say softly and Mikey shakes his head as Ray wraps his arm around my shoulders and says "Are you alright?" I shrug my shoulders, staring down at the floor as I take a few deep breaths before I say "I think I just need to get out of here." "Frank I'm really sorry, I should have fought him harder about coming tonight" Mikey says and I shake my head as I say "Seriously Mikey it's not your fault." 

We sit for another fifteen minutes before the rest of the band comes back onto the bus and I walk Mikey and Ray back outside, ignoring the concerned stares from the rest of my band and as we step back out into the parking lot I see a lot of security and no fans and I feel thankful to Ed for arranging that for me, feeling unable to face anyone right now. "So I guess I'll see you guys around" I tell them, Mikey and Ray sharing a glance before Mikey says "You have a hotel night tonight right?" I nod slowly and Ray nods along and says "Be ready for breakfast tomorrow at 9." "Guys I can't..." "Just the three of us, we know you're not leaving until 11." I nod, knowing they won't take no for an answer and deep down I feel a sliver of happiness at being able to see the guys without the drama and catch up properly. 

After Ray and Mikey leave I go back onto the bus and all the guys are sitting in the front lounge, every pair of eyes focused on me and I put my hands up as I say "I can't talk about it right now." Ed opens his mouth to argue before thinking better of it and he closes it again, a small sigh of relief escaping me as he swallows before opening his mouth again to tell us all to grab what we want before we are taken to the hotel for the night. 

When we make it to the hotel we all wait in the lobby while Ed checks us in before coming back with the room keys, splitting us up into pairs but when he reaches me he hands me a key and quietly says "I got you one on your own, thought you could use the space." "Thanks" I answer back as I take the key and follow the rest of the guys towards the elevators. When I get to my room I let myself in and dump my stuff on the bed, digging through my bag and grabbing my clean underwear and pyjamas before heading to the bathroom where I take a long hot shower, washing myself before slumping against the wall and letting myself cry again, wishing I could just bury all the hurt again but it's broken free and I can't seem to force it away. 

By the time I drag myself out and dress again it's been an hour and a half since we checked in and I dump my bag on the floor, looking forward to climbing into bed and being dead to the world for a few hours but just as I pull the covers back a knock sounds at the door and I frown as I cross the room, preparing to tell whichever band mate is on the other side that I don't feel like hanging out but when I open the door I feel like I've been slapped in the face and punched in the stomach, Gerard standing in the doorway fidgeting with his hands like he does when he's nervous. 

"No" I snap as I try to slam the door in his face but he reaches out and stops it, pushing it back open enough to force his way in and I raise my hands to shove him back out but he brings his hands up and grabs my wrists, stopping me from shoving him again and I violently pull my hands back away from him. "Don't touch me" I snap before adding "Get out." "Oh Frankie" Gerard coos at me as he steps towards me and slowly reaches his hand out, gently pushing my damp hair back off my forehead and I feel all the fight leave my body, my heart betraying me by speeding up at his touch and my eyes slip closed, my breath escaping me in one long drawn out exhale. Gerard's warm hand leaves my forehead a split second before I feel the warmth of his body come towards me and as I reopen my eyes his arms gently snake around me, one wrapping around my waist while the other slides up my back and gently tangles in the back of my hair, coaxing my head forward to rest against his shoulder. "Oh baby" he gently coos as his hand starts softly stroking the back of my head and I tense up and pull myself away from him. "No" I choke out and Gerard frowns as he tilts his head slightly to the side in confusion and I shake my head as I say "You can't do this to me, why are you here?" 

Gerard drops his head as he mumbles out something I don't quite catch and I sigh in frustration as I snap "What?" Gerard raises his head, his eyes wide as he says "I miss you" a little louder than before. I stare at him in disbelief for a few seconds before I burst out into short, sharp bitter laughter. "You don't miss me. You don't fucking care so don't you dare stand there and pretend like you do. You chose Gerard, I gave you everything I had and then some and you still chose against me. You chose her after everything we had been through just to protect yourself, you chose to break up the band and leave us all with nothing. You chose Gerard, you chose to ruin Mikey and Ray's lives and worst of all you chose to break me in ways you knew could never be fixed and for what? So no one would know you were gay? So no one would know you were in love with me? You chose all this you fucking coward so don't you dare stand there right now and insult me by telling me you miss me. You don't miss me, you don't fucking care and I don't know that you ever did, maybe I was just that fucking delusional I couldn't see it was all a joke and...." "It was never a joke babe" Gerard interrupts and I shake my head, my hands clenching into fists as I snap "Don't you fucking dare. Don't you dare do this to me, after everything you've already done you can't do this to me." 

I turn my back to Gerard, walking over to the window as I breathe slow and even, trying to calm myself down again, not wanting to cry in front of him and I rest my forehead against the cold glass panel as I close my eyes, just focusing on breathing deep and even and a few seconds later I feel Gerard's chest press against my back, his hands gently running down my arms until he reaches my hands hanging limply at my sides, his warm palms pressing against the backs of my hands as his fingers gently snake between mine before he slowly raises our hands up, pressing my palms to the window either side of my head as his mouth just barely skims down the side of my neck before making its way back up and when he reaches my ear he whispers "My beautiful baby." I clench my eyes even tighter shut, tears welling behind the lids as my will to fight against him fades and I feel my body go limp beneath his. Gerard gently nips at my ear lobe before he starts pressing soft, lingering open mouthed kisses down my neck and I can't help the soft whine that escapes me as I tilt my head slightly to the side, giving him more access as shivers run down my spine. Gerard keeps kissing down until he reaches the collar of my shirt before kissing his way back up, his kissing gaining more and more pressure as he goes until they border on sucking and I lean back against his chest, my head falling back to lay against his shoulder and Gerard releases one of my hands as he reaches up and gently cups my chin, tilting my head slightly to get a better angle as he leans in to kiss me, my eyes remaining closed as our lips meet.


	3. Chapter Three

Our lips slowly move together before Gerard slides his hand up to cup my cheek as his tongue gently slides along my bottom lip and I whine softly against his mouth as I tear my other hand out from under his and spin around to face him, my mouth opening and inviting his tongue in as I slide my hands up around the back of his neck. Gerard moans softly into my mouth as his hands slide down to rest against my lower back, using the grip to pull me closer and all the reasons why this is the worst idea I've ever had leave my mind, all my thoughts consumed with him, all my senses invaded by him. We slowly pull apart for air and I finally open my eyes again for the first time since this started, Gerard's face right there, his eyes burning straight into mine and it's like the last two years never happened, all coherent thought leaving my mind and all I can think about is him. 

"Babe" I whisper as I launch myself on him, our mouths smashing together in a bruising kiss as his hands slide down to grip around my thighs, my arms tightening around his neck as he lifts me like I weigh nothing, my legs wrapping around his waist as he turns us away from the window, lowering me to the bed seconds later as he climbs over me. I slide my way back into the middle of the bed, Gerard crawling between my legs as he follows me, our kiss never breaking and once we're comfortable I slide my hands up to start unbuttoning his shirt, Gerard's hands sliding down my sides to grip at the bottom of my t-shirt. 

What feels like seconds later I am completely naked, sprawled out in the middle of the bed as I watch Gerard stand by the bed removing his pants and boxers, pausing to retrieve a condom and packet of lube from his wallet before he throws it to the floor, tossing the packets into the blankets beside me before climbing his way back up my body, his slightly leaking erection brushing against mine as he leans down and kisses me again and I feel like I had been drowning and his lips are oxygen, a feeling of relief and euphoria flooding my body as we kiss and I groan softly into his mouth as he grinds his hips down, giving me just a hint of friction against my hard, throbbing dick. We continue to make out heatedly as Gerard fumbles around in the blankets for the packet of lube, making a small triumphant noise as he closes his fingers around it before he tears his lips away from mine and starts a trail of kisses down my chest and across my stomach, his tongue teasingly swiping over one bird before sliding across to work the other before he pulls back and whispers out "Love that you have these baby. You and me, forever," referencing what the birds symbolise, me and him. 

Gerard continues to kiss down until his face is buried in the crease at the top of my leg, his head tilting so he can breathe in the scent of my cock and I feel my whole body twitch as my breathing becomes shaky and I hear the rustling of the foil packet being torn open before Gerard gently guides my legs just a little further apart before two of his fingers gently circle my hole, spreading the lube around before he slowly sinks one inside me as his lips wrap around the head of my dick. I throw my head back, my hands clenching in the sheets as Gerard slides lower and lower, taking me almost the whole way in before he slides back up, working his finger in and out of me and a few seconds later he pulls back and adds a second finger, stretching them slightly as he continues to blow me and work me open until I whine softly and bring one hand down to tangle in his hair, tugging him off me as I pant out "Enough, need you." 

I release Gerard's hair as I reach out in search of the condom laying beside us, tearing open the packet and reaching down to slowly roll it onto Gerard's dick, watching as he grabs the lube and pours some out onto his hand before reaching down and starting to stroke himself, slicking up his length as I lean up on my elbows to watch properly, my eyes glued to the sight. Once he's sufficiently slick Gerard grips the base of his dick, steadying it as he guides the head to my hole, my legs widening just a little more as I wrap them around his hips and he gently thrusts forward, sliding just the head inside me before stopping and I throw my head back and groan out, the stretch slightly burning but mostly it feels amazing being stretched around him. As Gerard thrusts his hips forward a little more I bring my head back up, Gerard leaning down at the same time and we meet in a heated kiss, Gerard continuing to thrust until I feel his hips pressed against me and I know he's as deep as he can go. "Fuck baby" I groan as we gasp for air and Gerard drops his forehead down to rest against mine as he pants out "So fucking tight baby, so good." 

A few thrusts later Gerard's pace is still slow and steady and I need more, feeling desperate so I buck my hips up, knocking Gerard off balance and as he falls to the side I roll with him, keeping him inside me as we roll so I'm on top, my legs either side of his and I brace my hands against his chest, pushing myself up to sit before I start bouncing and grinding on Gerard's dick, building up my rhythm and speed as I go until I'm riding him like my life depends on it and Gerard's hands grip at my hips hard enough to leave bruises. "Fuck baby, feels so good, so much better than her" Gerard groans out and a split second later I realise what he just said and I feel anger bubble up in me as I raise my right hand, clenching it into a fist before I bring it down into Gerard's face, his eyes opening at the last second before I make contact with his nose, my bouncing stopping as his nose starts gushing blood. 

"You fucking son of a bitch" I scream at him as I brace my hands against his chest, ready to push myself up to get off him when Gerard's hands wrap around my wrists and he flips us over again, pinning me beneath him as he starts to thrust into me again, quickly building up a rhythm as he pins my wrists to the bed either side of my head, leaning down over me as his thrusts get harder and faster. "Get off me" I spit out as I struggle against him, blood from his nose running down his face and dripping off his chin, dropping onto my chin and chest and I turn my head to the side as I struggle against him, his thrusts bordering on painful with how forceful they are. "Stop" I tell him, thrashing against his hold but he's stronger than me, always has been, so I am powerless to do anything. A few more thrusts later I am still struggling and I let out a choked off sob as I scream out "Stop," his thrusts really starting to hurt me now and Gerard thrusts once more before stopping, seeming to finally realise something is wrong. 

As soon as he pulls out of me I kick out at him, Gerard moving back off me and I slide off the bed, backing my way across the room until my back hits the wall and I slide down to sit, bringing my knees to my chest as I bury my face in them and sob, slowly rocking myself back and forth and I vaguely register Gerard moving around the room, collecting his clothes and dressing again before he softly says "I'm sorry Frank" and a few seconds later the sound of the room door closing reaches me.


	4. Chapter Four

I sit on the floor and sob for hours, Gerard having broken me even more than before and by the time I manage to make myself move sunlight is softly filtering around the edges of the blinds. I slowly crawl across to the side of the bed where my pyjama pants lay discarded on the floor and I tug them on, grabbing my shirt too and once I'm dressed again I curl up in a ball on the floor, not wanting to touch the bed again as I allow myself to pass out. 

The next time I wake up I'm in the bed, the blankets pulled tight around me and I sit up in panic, my head spinning as I glance around the room, but I don't see anyone, my gaze falling onto the other side of the bed where I can see the blankets and sheets messed up like someone else had been sleeping there and I reach my hand out to touch them, the sheets not feeling as cool as they should so whoever was there hasn't been gone for very long. I slump back onto the pillows, turning onto my side and a piece of paper with my name written on it is propped up on the table beside the bed so I reach out and grab it, slowly opening it and reading the short note.   
Frank I'm sorry, for everything. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but if you could ever find it in your heart to forgive all the wrongs I've done you my choice would be you, consequences be damned. The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was letting you go and like all monumental mistakes it took far too long for me to realise it was a mistake. I love you Frank and with every beat of my heart until the very last I know they'll all be for you. Love Gee

I drop the note on the floor, closing my eyes as I exhale deeply and a few long seconds later I reopen them, sitting up and rubbing my hands over my face as my mind races with possibilities. I slowly slide off the side of the bed, a dull throb running up my spine and I know I will be sore for a few days as I slowly make my way over to my bag for clean clothes, my mind racing the whole time. Once I'm dressed I gather all my stuff, including the note which I tuck into my back pocket and I make my way downstairs, crossing the lobby when I spot a familiar figure sitting in one corner on a couch, just watching me go past. I meet his eye and his gaze is pleading and slightly pathetic and I briefly consider just walking past without another glance but I make it another step before my heart thuds painfully and I feel something pull towards him as I drop my bag and turn, rushing the few steps between us before launching myself into his lap, my arms wrapping around his neck as his wrap around my waist and I bury my face in his neck, breathing in his comforting scent as I say "Don't hurt me anymore." "Never again baby, I promise" he whispers in my ear and I melt against his chest, never planning on leaving his arms again. 

We sit in our embrace for a few long minutes before Gerard shifts slightly beneath me and I pull back to look at him, his face pulled into the most perfect smile and I can't help but smile back, the pieces of my heart feeling like they're being fused back together again and as Gerard leans in for a kiss a thought occurs to me and I pull back, keeping a distance as I blurt out "What about her?" Gerard stops, his smile faltering as he says "What do you mean baby?" I shake my head, climbing back out of his lap and I take a step back as I reach up and run a hand through my hair. "You're married, you have a life with someone else. That doesn't just...." "Hey, stop" Gerard says softly, standing and stepping over to me as he wraps his arms around my waist, my breathing becoming uneven again and he leans down and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. "I said I would choose you if you would give me the chance and I meant it. I know I fucked this all up before but I'll fix it. I want you baby, I want our house in Jersey back, I want to fight with you over things that don't matter and watch you pout that cute little pout of yours before we make up ten minutes later. I want those days where it snows and we just stay in bed all day keeping each other warm. I want to get you a million dogs and watch you run and play with them and help you take care of them. I want you baby and all the things you do that drive me insane, I want our life back and I will do whatever it takes." "But she...." "She doesn't matter. That part of my life..." He trails off, removing his arms from me and bringing his hands in front of my face so I can see him remove his wedding ring "....Its over. It's done, the only ring I want on my finger is yours." 

I take a deep breath, a million thoughts racing through my mind, memories of the life we used to have flashing behind my eyes before I remember that he's the reason it all ended in the first place. "I don't know" I whisper, dropping my gaze to the floor and Gerard falters in his breathing for a second before he corrects it and softly says "You don't want me?" "I don't want to get hurt again" I tell him, chancing a glance at his face and he looks upset, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. "What do I have to do to get you to realise I'm serious?" He asks, his hand slowly reaching out to cup my cheek. "I don't know" I tell him, biting on my bottom lip and he breathes out shakily before saying "I'll do anything babe. I'll shout my love for you from the rooftops, I'll tattoo your name on me, anything." "Can we just take this slow?" I ask, staring up into his eyes and he looks sad as he nods and says "Sure baby, whatever you need." 

An hour later Gerard has gone and Mikey and Ray show up to take me to breakfast, Ed taking my bag to the bus for me and as we sit down at a small diner near the hotel my phone beeps in my pocket and I pull it out, seeing a new message from Gerard and when I open it I frown in confusion at the message.   
Check Instagram.   
I close the message and open up Instagram, scrolling past the first few pictures before I see the latest from Gerard and my heart stops before starting up again double time. The picture is of Gerard in a tattoo parlour, laying shirtless on a table with black ink decorating his chest, the shape of a heart visible with my name written in the middle and I can't help but laugh at the cheesiness of it before realisation sets in that that's real and he actually did that for me, despite his paralysing fear of needles. I scroll down, reading the caption at the bottom and my eyes well with tears as I read what he's written.

Time for new beginnings with the only person who has ever really owned my heart. I love you.

I scroll back up, staring at the picture again before Mikey speaks up to asks what's wrong and I smile as I hand him my phone and say "Your brother is an idiot." Mikey frowns in confusion as he takes the phone, turning it so he can see the screen and Ray leans over to see what I'm talking about too, both of their mouths dropping open as he see the picture before Mikey looks back up at me and says "You guys...." Trailing off like he's unsure what to say and I smile and nod, knowing its for real and when Mikey hands back my phone I open the comment section and write I love you too, idiot.


End file.
